Mental Health
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Be Present for Joy
Joy isn’t always in the present. But it isn’t anywhere else, either.
Joy doesn’t live in the past, or the future. This little millisecond sliding through time, splitting the future from the past is all we have. Trying to fight that kills any possibility of joy.
I say this in the middle of extremely dark and terrifying times. It’s because of those very times that I say this.
I would love to be in another timeline as much as the next person, but we need to stay present and try not to dissociate or long for the past or mentally speed ahead to a better future.
I am not advocating for toxic positivity. Injustice is infuriating and rightly so. Grief and rage are warranted and needed. But we can’t live on rage alone. Without any joy, we die.
During these dangerous and evil days, finding joy in the present often requires zooming way in, up close and looking at our day under a microscope. Zoom in on the building blocks of life that are easily missed. Zoom in to feel the warm sun on your face. Zoom in to enjoy the dew drops on a blade of grass. Zoom in to relish the tickle of curly toddler hair against your neck, their little heartbeat against your chest. Zoom in to the buzz of crickets on a still night. Zoom in to a loved one’s laugh. Zoom in to meditate on the smell of muffins in the oven or the takeout on your counter. Breathe.
Anxieties are high. My own is through the roof. But I try my best not to let it take any more from me than is necessary. So I ground myself and try to focus on what I can control and what I love and not give up my joy voluntarily.
There will be moment where joy is impossible or inappropriate, but don’t let them take over more than their rightful space.
What can you find in your microscope today that could bring you a little joy?
Sometimes joy is all we have.
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Celebrating Myself
I didn’t know what freedom was
But I sure loved the feeling
I didn’t realize it then, but I had found my escape
Let goodness lure you in, you can trust it
Listen to your body and you will be free
Those who can make you feel flawed have the power
Suddenly you need them
To fix you and tell you how to be
Journey alone and your voice gets louder
The cacophony fades away
I’m not finding myself, but finding my worth
I’m not lost, just unseen so frequently – by even my own soul
They gave me blinders – “wear these to fit in”
Now I couldn’t see where I ended, and they began
What would feel real if truth could speak for itself?
Hundreds of little shards of glass
Broken bits of me
Arranging them together as a sparkling mosaic
Each one reflecting my spirit
I’m joining the resistance by not hiding
Sharp and bright – this art is dangerous
Drawing attention is a threat to the weak
They protect themselves by rattling the strong
They cower at authenticity
Celebrating myself is my chosen act of rebellion
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Chasing Snowflakes in Summer
Seasons – each perfect in its place – cycles of growth, slowing, rest and rebirth
But what if eternal summer takes hostage the earth?Summer is lovely until it won’t end, wearily dissolving into a desert
Vacation turns to exile, looking for home, always on alertI barely remember my last winter – I was a child when all was in balance.
Since then only a distant memory; a fleeting moment, a stolen glancePiecing together fragments, I have a picture now
Snow bright, and deep, it weighs down a tree boughBlanketing harsh landscape, softening corners, rounding edges
Drawing artful designs on all the cliffs and ledgesPeace takes over, the hustle bustle lays dormant
Jumping the track, everything stops for a momentMagic overtakes even the most disgruntled old men
Footsteps recorded, journaling where you’ve beenSuddenly everything is different, new, simple, clean
Pause ordinary life, something special is happening!I long for winter returning again– why am I so long deprived of rest?
Hibernate, take a break – from running and striving, every healing questYearning for freedom to just be, to exist, to feel my skin tingle in the cold
But in this forever dry and barren land, I sense my frame growing oldChasing snowflakes in summer – eyes wide open, searching for beauty so delicate
Intricate and fragile, here briefly then forever gone, fading, decadentAround me dull brown, brittle leaves, meager harvest, thick air stifling
Cracked soil, dry creek, withered sprouts, exhausted from survivingMidsummer’s rush, go, grow, travel, work, climb; using every last minute of daylight
I’m tired. I’ve climbed mountains, traversed long roads, can I turn down the next fight?Bouncing from one drought to the next, never catching a break
A hundred mirages later, wondering if I’ll even recognize a lakeBegging the weatherman, please I need snow
Painting a canvas, sparkling clean, iridescent glowA glimpse of relief; frosty morning, sharp inhale, the relief I crave
Not for long though, frozen fractals helpless against another heat waveA single snowflake lands on my nose, tinge of cold and then melted wet
Frigid water running down my face, savor the momentHonor that solitary soldier that braved the atmosphere to meet my face
Bronze it’s memory, hold sacred this spacePioneering snow star, sailing through the skies
Meditate, connect to where it’s origin liesInner peace now, snow starts to fall
The running inside my head slows to a crawlPerhaps, perhaps… No that couldn’t be!
Maybe all this time it’s source was inside of me!