Grief,  Poetry

Blurred in a Blinding Light

Life goes on, they say
But what if I don’t want it to?

Time heals all, they say
But what if time is my enemy?

I want to be frozen in time
Back when it was only a few hours since I had heard your voice

I need the world to stop spinning
At that moment when I had just seen your face

Days pass, weeks ago, months come and go
It all blurs in a blinding light

Memories fade, details grow faint
Time loses meaning

Continuing ahead is the scariest thing
Farther each day from your warm embrace
Plunging deeper into the unknown, further into a world void of you, the inevitable I fight against.

The pain will lessen over the years, I’m told
But what if the pain is all I have left of you?

You’ll be happy again one day, I hear
But what if happiness without you is sometimes more terrifying than mourning you?

New horizons, they exclaim
But what if that feels like the end of the earth, a precipice of a great divide, a chasm of black nothingness?

Trapped on a prisoner train, taking me far away
To a land where the center of my universe is but a blip on a past distant sea

My heart and my soul, now a pretty thing on a shelf
The life in my veins, now a chapter in a dusty book
My spark of life, my flame, my light, soon to be buried in years and decades of expired time.

You are frozen there, I’m pulled by the tide
You are a rock in a river current, I am swept downstream

Time marches me further and further beyond those shared years when I was most alive
You are forever young, I grow old

The world turns too fast, rushes past
Onward, onward, but I’m reaching back
Hold my hand, I’m losing my grip

Follow me, our souls intertwined
I will return to you, my heart, my home

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