Poetry,  Religious Abuse,  Religious Trauma,  Trauma Healing

A Hero’s Story Arc

Night wrapped itself around me like suffocating cellophane
My truth poking holes in the dark sky like stars
Pinpricks of light invaded, eclipsed my pain
Hope slipped between prison bars

Promised love but disgusting corruption
illuminated by black light was a rude interruption
My true self stolen, they locked her away
Irretrievable innocence the price I paid

Haunted by ghost whispers,
echoes in the hollow
Hearing voices, “you’ll never miss her”
A bitter pill to swallow

I once was a shiny toy wrapped up so pretty,
Admired if I stayed on the shelf
Found out too late integrity isn’t piety
Character doesn’t save you in the Bible Belt

Sparkly bow pulled around my throat so tight
Purchased with blood and a tithe
Painted face bruised on the other cheek
Pink collectors box, 6 feet deep

My only salvation living in reveries
My family of Christ set up as enemies
This can’t be the best life there is
Surely, there must be more than this

A chain link fence of holy Red Rover
“You’ll never break through” they repeatedly told her
“It’s no use, you might as well stay.”
But I only listened when they taught me faith

Emboldened, but internal alarms rang loud
To leave I must run at what I fear
I break my body against the crowd
Air knocked out, but I’m scrambling for the clear

Flashes of light, head is spinning
high-pitched buzzing, but I think I’m winning
Shreds of my flesh still hanging from their claws
But I’m breathing clean air, allowed my own thoughts

Head on a swivel, is it really safe?
The other side is a heavenly place
From a distance I watch you spin out of control
Lashing out at your pawns with pure vitriol

Exploding from your sick and pitiful rage
no idea what to do with an empty cage
Lost your hold on relevance and power
Screaming because you’re not my ivory tower

This isn’t who you have to be
I can share what I know and help you leave
But your empty soul feels important as the villain
And it doesn’t matter what you do if you’re going to heaven

Saved and with God on your side, there’s no reason to be kind
Morality customized to your theology and the most convenient design
You’ll stay inside I know, it’s a power trip
Deadly addicting high, but you can’t let go of it

I sigh, turn my gaze and shut the door
There’s a big world out there for prophets like me
Who have always been called to something more
It’s time to enjoy being free

My past is defined but never my future
Self-Doubt looks back, but I refuse her
You had your time, but in the end, I left my mark
All you gave me was a Hero’s Story Arc

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