I Lived Through Project 2025. I almost didn’t.

I almost didn’t survive. Many don’t.

Living in a Christian fundamentalist bubble was pure hell. When you’re kept isolated from the real world and under extremely high control, it’s very difficult to imagine any other way of being. It’s all you know. By happenstance, I found a way out, but I could have been one of the hundreds of my childhood peers who are still back there. And if political conservatives have their way, there will no longer be any escape. There will be no in versus out. No options. That dystopian nightmare will be the only world available.

Christian fundamentalism almost destroyed me and even a decade after getting out, I still rarely feel truly safe. Now I know why. They’re still coming after me – after all of us. And they won’t be satisfied until they have taken over the entire nation, even the world. If that feels far-fetched, look up “Dominion Theology”. It’s a foundational aspect of most branches of Christianity.

While in the church I wanted to die every day, but I thought that was normal. Ingrained messages starting in infancy taught me I was dirty and broken because of sin. Misogyny showed me every day I was inferior, incapable and insignificant. Religiosity tightened my restrictions further every year I grew closer to becoming a woman. The church-to-abusive-marriage pipeline pulled me closer every day toward dangerous men. I would have died; if not physically, then inside.

Depression from my apparent worthlessness tempted me to end my life multiple times. Christian judgment, shame and self-loathing kept me from genuinely smiling or laughing for over a year. Out of pure hatred for myself I purposefully hit my head and wrote poetry about death. I could have easily died.

Anxiety and PTSD kept my body in constant fight-or-flight, wreaking havoc on my health. My muscles atrophied, I felt weak and lightheaded every day, my body was too stressed to absorb enough energy and nutrients from my food. My blood pressure dropped dangerously low and I suffered from chronic dehydration that landed me in the hospital three times. I experienced firsthand how trauma lives in our bodies and slowly kills us. If this had continued on much longer, I likely would have developed a disabling chronic condition as so many survivors do, maybe even died.

As a young woman exploring my desires for companionship and pleasure, I was groomed and pressured to marry so I didn’t sin and make my family look bad or cheapen my worth. I ended up married to a charismatic narcissist who pushed me to the brink of insanity with his mind games. He chipped away at my confidence, and made me do what he said. He weaponized forgiveness and compassion. He spent my money and threatened my well-being if I didn’t submit. By random chance the dominoes fell where I was able to escape before I no longer cared if I lived or died.

As a minor, I wasn’t allowed access to sex education. I was prohibited from getting the HPV vaccine because it might “encourage me to have sex” and “remove the consequences of sin”. So later when my abusive Christian husband cheated on me and exposed me to STI’s, I contracted HPV. It wasn’t discovered until years later when I had to have an emergency surgery to remove the mutated cells. If it wasn’t discovered when it was, I could have died. I know another woman raised in the church who wasn’t so lucky. She lived to be 29.

I wasn’t given access to women’s healthcare because if I was “following God” I shouldn’t have any conditions that needed treating. When I had a miscarriage, I was lucky I had recently left the church and lived in a blue state, or I could have died.

Christian fundamentalism is inherently life-threatening; especially to women, people with disabilities, queer folks, and people of color, but it harms all people – both inside and outside its church walls. The impending possibility of Project 2025 is a matter not only of freedom and happiness, but also literally of life and death.

Christian fundamentalists don’t believe in human rights for anyone who can’t fit inside their narrow roles and expectations. In fact, to them human rights as a concept doesn’t exist – only God’s blessing or God’s wrath. We have no “rights” to anything, but can only accept what God ordains. Thus a queer couple shouldn’t expect to have the right to marry – they are breaking God’s rules for families and don’t deserve God’s blessing. They should receive wrath and discipline for their sin. Lower income families shouldn’t feel entitled to the resources and money they need to thrive. After all, you reap what you sow. Women shouldn’t be eligible to vote or have a career – if they express a different opinion than their husbands or build an independent life, they are challenging the sacred design of headship and stepping outside of God’s protection. They shouldn’t think they have rights over their bodies – that’s countering a scripture that says “your body is not your own”. Breaking God’s rules leads to punishment, not blessing. And yes, Christian fundamentalists are eager to punish anyone they believe has broken their rules. That’s why they don’t care when women die as a result of abortion bans. They see it merely as cause and effect. Anyone suffering must have brought it upon themselves.

A terrifying fact in the current climate crisis is that Christian fundamentalists don’t care about the environment. They view natural resources as theirs for the taking. They welcome the end times and look forward to the burning of the earth as a precursor to the establishment of the Kingdom of Heaven. Because Jesus is coming soon, it’s pointless to invest in “earthly things” or plan many years ahead. Besides, God will supernaturally stop the earth from being destroyed before “his perfect timing”. But the fact remains that the eventual destruction of the whole world is a pillar of their theology and they see no reason to try to stop it. Doing so is blasphemous, “worshipping creation instead of creator”. Besides, the environmental suffering hasn’t yet affected their elite Christian circles enough to give it a second thought.

Christian fundamentalists believe it is their God-given calling and command to dominate and rule the world, transforming it into a religious theocracy where all people live in compliance. They view themselves as “God’s hands and feet” whose job it is to carry out divine justice as they see fit. This sets up a superiority complex with Christians at the top and everyone else under their thumb. Anyone who dares to challenge Christian leadership should expect to be conquered and forced into obedience. Christian fundamentalists believe they will be rewarded with riches and happiness both on earth and in heaven if they do this. And believe me, they are working hard toward that goal right now.

The Republican Party and the Christian Nationalist movement are well aware that religious brainwashing and the fear of God produces the most loyal and passionate followers. Working hand-in-hand to climb to the top of a government and weaken a democracy, these groups know they need a lot of people on their side, and what better way than using religion? Conservative power mongers have been laying the groundwork behind the scenes for decades now by infiltrating American homes with extreme doctrines and curriculums like Bill Gothard’s Institute of Basic Life Principles, James Dobson’s Focus on the Family and Gary Ezzo’s Growing Kids God’s Way. They have a long history of influencing politics in their favor using Christianity as a distraction and disguise and are now making unprecedented headway. A few examples of current events they laid the groundwork for is the overturning Roe v Wade and “Don’t Say Gay” laws. The upcoming November 2024 election is one of the most critical steps in their grand plan.

If religious conservatives and the GOP continue to be successful placing their proponents in crucial roles from local government all the way up to the federal level and elect a man who has openly supported attempts at overthrowing a democracy, the United States and the entire globe will be in a very dangerous place. Donald Trump is a felon and a rapist. He waves the Bible around for his political gain. He has been recorded publicly saying when he becomes president it won’t be necessary to vote anymore and he proudly promises he will replace thousands of government employees with his own picks. He incites violence toward women and people of color and he is the chosen one of the extremist Christian Nationalist movement. Trump is the kingpin for putting Project 2025 firmly in pace and his name is mentioned more than 300 times in the official document. If successful, millions of people will suffer, experience trauma and die. The “outside world” won’t exist anymore. Christian extremism will be the only reality. They’ve already told us their plans – demolish no-fault divorce, abolish IVF and contraceptives, remove a woman’s right to vote by establishing “head of family” laws, lower the age of consent for marriage, strip away the government’s ability to establish environmental protections and much more. Their plan is power and they don’t care who it hurts. This is only the beginning – we need to believe them when they tell us who they are. We must stop this.

Vote Blue on every ticket this November. Elect Harris Walz 2024.