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If you don’t like my story…
If you didn’t want me telling my story, maybe you shouldn’t have written that chapter.
If you wanted me to make you look good, maybe you should have been a good person.
I have the right to share my story, just as you can share yours. I own my story, just as you own yours.
Maybe you should be more intentional when intersecting with someone else’s story.
Maybe you should remember that your actions toward someone become part of the story they own and get to tell whenever, however and to whomever they like.
When you enter someone’s story, you leave a mark, like a square stitched into their quilt. It might be a dark square, or a bright cheery one, but once it is stitched in, it is theirs now.
You don’t get to be the editor in someone else’s story.
If you didn’t want me telling my story, maybe you shouldn’t have contributed content you didn’t want published.
If you don’t like my story, maybe you shouldn’t have helped write it, but I won’t hide it for your sake. I won’t keep quiet. My story is mine to tell.
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They’re The Same Picture.
EVANGELICALISM: Disciplined or excommunicated for heresy if your interpretation of scripture differs church leadership, punished for not submitting to “God’s established authority”
FASCISM: no freedom of speech, no right to peacefully protest, imprisoned for opposing the regime, criminalized for speaking out against their agenda
EVANGELICALISM: required assimilation means few options for music or hobbies, strict dress codes, prohibitions on tattoos, piercings, colored hair and other ways to show individuality. Predetermined roles to play based on gender, age, race and socioeconomic status. People in poverty aren’t blessed by God, those with disabilities or illnesses don’t have enough faith to be healed
FASCISM: required assimilation: no freedom of expression, citizens are given a narrow role to play. No one is allowed to be different (such as being openly queer, holding different political views or belonging to a different religion.) Members of minority ethnic groups are oppressed, enslaved, imprisoned and deported. People living with disabilities or illnesses are not valuable to society.
EVANGELICALISM: cultivates racism, sexism and classism to keep people blaming each other for their problems instead of questioning church leadership. Creates an imagined enemy (non-Christians, anyone not part of the same flavor of Christianity) to produce fear and motivate people to stay inside the church.
FASCISM: fosters hatred for vulnerable groups to distract from the fact that the oppressor is the system and its leaders
EVANGELICALISM: women aren’t allowed in leadership because of “God’s Plan” of hierarchal leadership. Anyone “living in sin” can’t be in leadership (queer folks, anyone enjoying personal). Church leadership gets to decide how to define what sin is so they control who has influence in the community while hiding it behind “good morals”.
FASCISM: oppresses women and minorities, suppresses votes from those who would benefit from progress (gerrymandering, creating obstacles to vote like disallowing time off work, making polling locations difficult to access, or outright banning the vote from certain groups of people) while claiming protection against “voter fraud”.
EVANGELICALISM: “God made us the stewards of the Earth; it is designed for our use.” Opposes environmentalism with the excuse that it “worships creation instead of the creator.”
FASCISM: privatizes public land for profit, destroys conservation efforts to turn nature into a business, clear-cuts old growth forests, desecrates sacred indigenous lands with mining, pipelines and oil drilling, pollutes rivers so giant corporations can save a nickel, destroys sensitive habitats to harvest the natural resources and benefit the wealthy while creating climate destabilization and natural disasters that disproportionally impact the poor.
EVANGELICALISM: women must submit to men, the husband is the head of the household.
FASCISM: men making decisions about women’s access to healthcare, implementing “head of household” voting where only the men are allowed to vote, removing access to abortions to keep women locked into their role of making more productive workers for society, lowering women’s pay and making it difficult for women to get jobs so they need men to survive, prohibiting no-fault divorce which keeps women trapped in destructive marriages with no consequences for men. Makes it very difficult for a woman to prove to a biased court system that her husband is abusive while simultaneously trying to stay safe from his retaliation.
EVANGELICALISM: “God helps those who help themselves”, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”, enjoying tax-exempt status with the logic of taking care of the community while remaining stingy and deciding who is worthy of their charity (newsflash: only people who are exactly like them).
FASCISM: Slashes social programs and public benefits to funnel those tax dollars straight to billionaires pockets.
EVANGELICALISM: minority cultures and people of color are looked down on for being less godly
FASCISM: Systematically destroys equal opportunity and measures to promote diversity, equity and inclusion
EVANGELICALISM: Strict information control to avoid “temptation” and “bad influences” while in reality keeping people from experiencing any other way of life which might motivate them to speak out or leave
FASCISM: strict information control in the form of reduced freedom of speech, lawsuits and bans for media companies that don’t suit leadership’s agenda. Creation of state-run media and propaganda to feed the regime’s narrative to the people.
EVANGELICALISM: “prayer circles”, “accountability” and church gossip. Self-policing through shame and living in fear of people’s opinions.
FASCISM: encourages snitching culture and reporting your neighbors in order to divide the people. Living in fear of police and military.
EVANGELICALISM: homeschooling or private Christian schools are highly encouraged to keep children from being “preyed upon by the world”, maintaining a short leash of control
FASCISM: Sweeping Government oversight on school curriculum, requiring prayer and religious teachings in schools, prohibiting education on topics that empower the people such as learning about racism and sexuality, removing funding from schools that don’t comply as a way to control them and force their hand
EVANGELICALISM: skimming money off the collection plate, using tax exempt status to make real estate investments for ministry leaders, raising huge amounts of money for charities with mysteriously high overhead, pastors making six figures, living in mansions and driving fancy cars while they’re congregants scrape together pennies to tithe. Going on regular “mission trips” to Hawaii and the Maldives, “prosperity gospel” teaches God will bless you if you donate to them etc
FASCISM: privatizing social services to be for profit, misuse of citizens’ taxes, tax breaks for the wealthy, destroying public assistance after natural disasters to reduce the value of land and consolidate ownership under a few wealthy individuals, consolidating business that provide essential services such as healthcare, food and housing to monopolize prices. Government officials trading stocks with insider information and passing laws that benefit them financially
EVANGELICALISM: exploiting free labor through volunteerism and pushing “service” and “ministry” as necessary to prove dedication to your faith
FASCISM: low wages and long hours to serve the wealthy, slavery through the prison industrial complex and forced labor camps
EVANGELICALISM: labeling art, literature and music that doesn’t fit their agenda as sinful and banning it
FASCISM: censoring art, journalism and music and banning books that don’t fit their agenda
EVANGELICALISM: colonialism through missionary work, pressuring and forcing people from different cultures and religions to conform to the Christian worldview and lifestyle
FASCISM: invading other countries and expanding the empire, being overly involved in global affairs and maintaining a position as a world superpower to have widespread influence
For those of us who grew up in the church, everything happening in the United States right now feels very familiar. We’ve seen this movie before and we know all the scenes.
It’s difficult to distinguish between expanding religious extremism and the fascist takeover of our country. It’s deja vu; flashbacks in double vision, mirror images melding into one another.
American Christianity and fascism; they’re the same picture.
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Sorry, no grace!
I have been encouraged by “moderate” and supposedly progressive Christians to “have grace” and “give the benefit of doubt” for Christian Trump voters. Let me take a minute to explain why that’s ridiculous and enables the problem.
I’ve been told “Yes, Trump and right-wing policies are opposed to Christ, but most of his Christian voters meant well. They felt stuck choosing between the lesser of two evils or were unaware of some of Trump’s plans. They were doing their best with the misinformation and community pressure they’ve received.” My disagreement with this led to my being accused of seeing things through a rigid binary. Let me be clear: I value nuance, AND I see absolutely no excuse for this behavior. The world is complex, AND there is no moral gray area in supporting Trump, especially as a Christian. Excusing an antichrist agenda woven into Christendom because “they are one of us” and “didn’t mean it” is exactly how we got to where we are today.
Project 2025 is a full-scale attack on the humanity of its victims. It is the American Holocaust and I can only hope it is stopped before the history books have to call it that.
I understand a lot of Trump voters are stuck in an insular church bubble that feeds them a very narrow worldview. I grew up in that, so I get it. I understand that there is extreme pressure to conform and if you don’t, you lose everything. It happened to me, and it’s extremely traumatic and the cost is so high that sometimes our brains don’t let us even consider going against the grain because of how much damage we would take in the process. It’s self-preservation, I suppose.
But isn’t that the very message we are taught in church? To take a stand even when it’s hard? To swim upstream? To be willing to sacrifice everything to do what’s right? To even give up our lives to defend what is good and true?
I appreciate how extremely difficult it is to access accurate information in high-control religious communities. I experienced firsthand the rules aimed at prohibiting meaningful engagement in the outside world. I remember the brainwashing and fear-mongering that anyone different is trying to destroy us; the stories that I was in danger and only the church was safe. It mirrors the narrative pushed by Republicans (“The radical left is trying to destroy our country! Take America back!”).
The similarities are no surprise when 81% of Evangelical Christians voted for Trump. I can have compassion for the challenges that abused and isolated Christians face. But the same time, I believe there are no excuses for evil (and that’s a Christian message, if I ever heard one). We are all responsible for our own actions. Casting blame on church culture or peer pressure just kicks the pebble further down the road. Culture and peers are made up of individuals, and at some point, somebody needs to take responsibility for what is happening. Actually, all of us do. We need to be willing to pay the very high cost to do the right thing. We must humbly admit the ways we have participated in and contributed to toxic church culture even under duress, and then do what we can to make it right. I think we need to ask the hard question of why church culture is often (roughly 81% of the time) so insular, misinformed and controlling in the first place.
I’ve been reassured that it’s “not all Christians” and those who are mature in their faith can see through Trump’s rhetoric. That’s great, but it’s curious that such a small percentage of Christians have this maturity (19%) and anyone who cares about furthering the Kingdom of God should find that worth investigating.
Call me rigid, but I believe it is a hard-to-swallow truth that no matter how well-meaning or misinformed, anyone who votes for Trump or stands idly by is directly responsible for the deaths, imprisonment, poverty, and sicknesses that will come about and I’m including my own family members in this. Without the voters this literally wouldn’t be happening right now. So yes, they’re responsible. This isn’t about right or left, but about right and wrong.
Hold up, you say. That’s a little extreme! Responsible for deaths?
If I’m applying Evangelicals’ own standards, yes. Binary thinking is exactly how these types of Christians view salvation. Their theology says that even though not everyone has equal access to the gospel, every person is still personally responsible for accepting what little they know about it. If they don’t, they go to hell. The “unsaved” are not afforded the excuse of misinformation or community pressure, so why should Christians be granted this leniency?
It’s a double standard to say that Christians supporting the American Holocaust because of how they were influenced are well-meaning and God-fearing, while someone raised Muslim or Hindu with little opportunity to question it, is still wrong enough to go to hell. You can’t have it both ways. We are either responsible for our actions or we’re not.
I get it that some Trump voters don’t like him and think they have to choose between the lesser of two evils. I personally know people who feel that way. But it should be terrifying that the majority of the American church is able to convince their followers that welcoming immigrants, providing healthcare and housing assistance, protecting the environment, and granting equal opportunity is a greater evil than the belligerent racism, sexism and classism Trump very publicly espouses. It wasn’t a secret, it wasn’t cleverly disguised; Trump’s entire platform ran on the promotion of very blatant and graphic hate. And 81% of Evangelicals, regardless of why, saw that and said “yep! That’s my leader!”
In many ways Evangelicalism has become a political cult using religion to manipulate and control people. Religion is a very effective tool of coercion, and I do wonder how many of these leaders and influencers don’t care about Jesus and are just playing the long game for power. Billionaires know their goals are more palatable draped in “good ol’ fashioned family values”. I recommend looking up Project Russia and its relationship with religion and the similar trajectory in the US with Project 2025.
Even if Trump is somehow stopped tomorrow, I believe there needs to be a very deep look taken at the mainstream American church and what it has become and how we have gotten here. Looking up James Dobson (Focus on the Family) and The Heritage Foundation and their political lobbying for the last 40-50 years is a good but terrifying place to start.
I won’t give grace to Trump voters because of the gravity of consequences of those extreme right-wing ideologies. They are antithetical to Christ, they get people killed, they are fueled by hate and control and power and punishment. The pursuit of Truth is a core Christian tenet, and we don’t get to downplay our actions when we don’t do that.
The Christian calling is to do the right thing even when it’s unpopular and traumatic. We can’t explain away our support of oppression as being a result of manipulation from community pressure and propaganda. It’s the job of Christians to see through that. We expect it from non-Christians when we ask them to go against their families, cultures, communities and everything they have ever known to follow Christ. You can’t put individual responsibility on non-believers to secure “salvation” no matter their context, and at the same time think it’s justifiable for Christians to support evil if their church tells them to.
Besides, by Christian rhetoric access to the Holy Spirit should be more than enough of a resource to point Christians in the right direction. Because “the Holy Spirit is our conscience”, right? That’s what makes Christians morally superior to non-Christians, is “we have the Holy Spirit and they don’t”? And that’s why “we can discern the truth and they’re hopelessly lost without Christ”? Sound familiar? Yep, no excuses!
The furthest, most extreme and controversial left-wing ideology that I can personally think of is redistribution of wealth. And it’s controversial because people would rather hoard resources than help others like Jesus tells us to do. But it’s directly Biblical with the Old Testament concept of Jubilee and Chapters 1-2 of Acts. And yet somehow it’s the radical left that endangers Christian values and the American lifestyle?
Many Christians put politics before faith. My parents are always talking shit about Mormons. But my dad voted for Romney, who is a Mormon and my dad knew that. I asked him why he could vote for a Mormon and he said It’s because they had similar values. But then he refused to vote for Obama or Biden, both of whom are Christians and attend church regularly. Clearly, my dad and a lot of Christians like him, have greater allegiance to the Republican party than to their faith. It’s become about politics and control instead of allegiance to Christ. The latter is a justification to keep people voting for these conservative power grabs and destruction of the vulnerable.
The way I see it, there are true Christians in the margins of American evangelicalism, but the movement as a whole is so far warped beyond its original intent. It’s a political cult now and honestly has been for a long time.
If the American Church received one of the “Letters to the Churches” like those in Revelation, I believe it would be VERY strongly worded to the point where we’d be envious of the those who only received “will spit you out of my mouth.”
Just look at our American “Christian Heritage”:
See how many of our American Christian leaders endorsed the KKK or received funding from it (Billy Sunday and Bob Jones Sr did, for example).
Bob Jones University, one of the most well-known Christian universities in our country, didn’t lift their ban on interracial relationships until they lost accreditation for it. It wasn’t out of the goodness of their hearts.
The Southern Baptist Convention only exists because they split off from the Northern Baptists over support of slavery.
Billy Graham, the father of Evangelicalism and responsible for roughly 90% of Baby Boomers coming to Christ, told Nixon to finish Hitler’s job and said the Civil Rights Movement had gone too far.
James Dobson has proven ties with Paul Popenoe and promoted Eugenics and Conversion Therapy. Not to mention The Heritage Foundation and how it was a conservation political power grab under the guise of family values. They’ve been weakening our democracy for decades. Dobson also advocated for beating children and made millions off his classes and books such as “The Strong-Willed Child” which is a manual on child abuse.
Focus on the Family knowingly interviewed fake “Ex-Muslim terrorists” to “prove” horrible things about Muslims to get Christians angry and afraid. They went out of their way to intentionally create racial tension and racially-motivated hate, for no other reason than increasing the hold they had over their followers and increase support for their evil plans.
Moody Bible Institute was built with funds gifted from the wealthy anti-union activist Cyrus McCormick Jr., well-known for his employees being killed when striking. Yet Dwight Moody praised Cyrus’ wealth as a “gift from God”. When Reverend Fielden said it was actually a gift of unjust capitalism at the expense of the workers, he was sentenced to death while Moody continued to receive large donations from the wealthy. This is one of our most prestigious Christian Universities in our country.
Gary Ezzo advocated for beating babies starting at 7 months, and made millions from his classes and curriculums.
After his death, it came to light that the popular preacher and theologian Ravi Zacharias was a sexual predator and had potentially hundreds of sexual assault victims.
John Piper, an extremely influential Evangelical theologian and author of many well-known Christian books, publicly teaches that women should submit to beatings from their husbands. The clip is readily available on YouTube if you can stomach it.
This recap doesn’t even touch on huge sweeping Christian movements like the IBLP (watch the documentary “Shiny Happy People”) or the more contemporary Hillsong (watch the documentaries “The Secrets of Hillsong” and “Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed”). Hillsong is sung in Evangelical churches more than any other “songwriter” and is involved in multiple ongoing sexual abuse scandals and is well-known for using their tax-exempt status to make real estate investments for their wealthy leaders.
This is just a shallow skimming of the surface of the American Evangelical movement. This is why I believe that at best, a minority of true Christians are in the margins of this movement. Unless the core of Christianity is evil, which at this point I could definitely be convinced of, then this is about power and oppression, not religion. Religion is the means to the end and anyone who cares even a little bit about Christ’s message should flee from and fight against the American Church.
When I started taking Jesus’ teachings seriously, the church put a target on my back. When I started learning about biblical nonviolence, my best friends started distancing themselves from my “extremism”. The church can’t have “The Lord’s Army” going soft. When I started studying the first chapters of Acts and reading about intentional and sustainable community, I was screamed at for being a liberal commie. Nothing enrages Christians more than the Bible.
This is the foundation this country is built on.
Our history is very dark.
There is not even the smallest amount of ethical wiggle room allowable for people who use their religion to terrorize others. So no, I do not give the benefit of doubt to Christians who voted for Trump. I hold them to their own theology. Sorry, no grace!
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Be Present for Joy
Joy isn’t always in the present. But it isn’t anywhere else, either.
Joy doesn’t live in the past, or the future. This little millisecond sliding through time, splitting the future from the past is all we have. Trying to fight that kills any possibility of joy.
I say this in the middle of extremely dark and terrifying times. It’s because of those very times that I say this.
I would love to be in another timeline as much as the next person, but we need to stay present and try not to dissociate or long for the past or mentally speed ahead to a better future.
I am not advocating for toxic positivity. Injustice is infuriating and rightly so. Grief and rage are warranted and needed. But we can’t live on rage alone. Without any joy, we die.
During these dangerous and evil days, finding joy in the present often requires zooming way in, up close and looking at our day under a microscope. Zoom in on the building blocks of life that are easily missed. Zoom in to feel the warm sun on your face. Zoom in to enjoy the dew drops on a blade of grass. Zoom in to relish the tickle of curly toddler hair against your neck, their little heartbeat against your chest. Zoom in to the buzz of crickets on a still night. Zoom in to a loved one’s laugh. Zoom in to meditate on the smell of muffins in the oven or the takeout on your counter. Breathe.
Anxieties are high. My own is through the roof. But I try my best not to let it take any more from me than is necessary. So I ground myself and try to focus on what I can control and what I love and not give up my joy voluntarily.
There will be moment where joy is impossible or inappropriate, but don’t let them take over more than their rightful space.
What can you find in your microscope today that could bring you a little joy?
Sometimes joy is all we have.
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This is why we left.
Church abuse survivors have already lived through the right-wing vision for America’s future. It was hell. This is why we left.
The church is run by dictators who claim, “There is only one right way”.
Republican Christians voted for a dictator to enforce their preferred way on an entire nation.
This is why we left.
The church teaches that anyone different is dangerous and should be converted or excommunicated.
So Republican Christians didn’t bat an eye at political messages criticizing and blaming people from other cultural and economic walks of life.
This is why we left.
Their sermons are dangerous, especially when applied beyond church walls.
Church leadership is chosen based on loyalty and professed beliefs, not character or skill. Incompetent and immoral people lead the flock because of who they know or what they preach, putting church members at risk.
So, it’s only logical that Republican Christians aren’t alarmed by a presidential cabinet filled with incompetent and immoral loyalists because that has been normalized.
This is why we left.
The church is unwilling to listen to dissenting voices with cause for concern; they are above accountability. How dare someone question the message of God!
Republican Christians are hard-hearted against new perspectives. Anyone who disagrees with them is lost or evil. They will support whoever signals their buzz words.
This is why we left.
The church is run by a bunch of powerful guys at the top, unwilling to collaborate with anyone of lower status. They “lead” by protecting each other and covering up the misdeeds of those like them. Anyone else is collateral damage.
Republican Christians happily support politicians who have skeletons in their closet because they think, who doesn’t? Habitual church scandals have seared their conscience.
This is why we left.
Contrary to the mantras they scream, there is no true freedom in Christianity. The individual is dissolved into the obedient masses. No one is allowed to exist outside a very narrow ideal.
Thus, Republican Christians aren’t worried when human rights are stripped away. A pious servant of God is emptied of themselves and has no rights; and neither should anyone else. Christians are commanded to take over the world with the gospel.
This is why we left.
In church, the end justifies the means. Their Bible is full of stories about God wiping out entire races of people and smiting adherents to other religions.
Republican Christians aren’t appalled by an administration preaching straight out of the Old Testament.
This is why we left.
The church practices strict information control to reduce the chances of their members discovering outside knowledge or happiness that empowers them to leave.
The natural progression of that is Republican Christians having no qualms with our nation’s education system being dismantled, as they can’t control what is taught there. Education is risky. Science threatens to prove them wrong, and diversity offers another way of life.
This is why we left.
The church claims to be charitable toward the poor and enjoys tax exempt status because of that claim. But they decide who is deserving of their support, and it is almost never someone who lives differently than them. If you aren’t a Christian and you are struggling, it is probably God’s wrath. They believe people who don’t follow their rules deserve punishment and suffering.
Republican Christians have eagerly voted in an administration intent on tearing down public assistance and punishing anyone with differing beliefs. If someone enjoys lifestyle freedoms Christians can’t have, they want to make that person miserable.
This is why we left.
The church isn’t safe, and people are fleeing left and right.
A country ran by Republican Christians isn’t safe, and now many people are trying to escape with their life.
This is why we left the first time, and why we might have to leave again.